On November 4th of this year Microsoft promises to make gaming on your 360 more clumsy and awkward than ever before. They will be launching Kinect (formerly known as Project Natal), a motion sensor controller that will let you interact with games via body movement and shouting orders at your television.
Microsoft has rented out the Bagger 288 in anticipation of all the upcoming shovelware en route to the 360 this November.
Judging from the launch titles alone, Microsoft would appear challenging Nintendo in the race to see who can push out more shovelware on their system. The lineup includes the following (list courtesy of Kotaku):
- Kinect Adventures (Microsoft Game Studios)
- Kinectimals (Frontier Studio/Microsoft Game Studios)
- Kinect Joy Ride (Big Park/Microsoft Game Studios)
- Kinect Sports (Rare/Microsoft Game Studios)
- Dance Central (MTV Games)
- Your Shape: Fitness Evolved (Ubisoft)
- EA Sports Active 2 (EA)
- Deca Sports Freedom (Hudson)
- Dance Masters (Konami)
- Adrenalin Misfits (Konami)
- Zumba Fitness (Majesco)
- Sonic Free Riders (Sega)
- The Biggest Loser: Ultimate Workout (THQ)
- Motion Sports (Ubisoft)
- Game Party: In Motion (Warner Bros.)
The list includes games where you can exercise, race, play sports, and raise cats. Now before you get too excited, let’s take a look at Kinect in glorious action by a commercial family.
GOOD JOB, MOM! THIRD PLACE!
This is the demo video that’s supposed to make Kinect look appealing to the general public. Every game in this painful to watch video looks absolutely awkward to play. The only redeeming part of it is watching the dad pull a Minority Report while watching a movie to skip to a point where a fat girl complains about being with her family, possibly because her family hasn’t experienced the joy of Kinect.
One of the upcoming Kinect titles is a Star Wars game where you’ll get to play as a Jedi who uses the force to randomly flail around and gently knock over Stormtroopers with a lightsaber.
Which in your living room will look like this.
And yes, I know everyone has already seen this video.
Early reports indicate this gimmicky device can be yours for approximately $150.
I suppose I can try to end this on a positive note. Despite not really showing much in the way of gameplay, Ubisoft’s Child of Eden looks like a total trip and gives off an uncontrollable urge to get under the influence of anything really. Seen by many as a spiritual successor to another trippy game, Rez, we can only hope that in the spirit of being more interactive with games it will also include a vibrator like Rez did. Girl gamers deserve a break once in a while.
