Good News: Shut Up!

On June 9th the XBox Live Arcade is getting hit with a remake of one of the most wacked out platformers of the SNES/Genesis generation. A month later, the Playstation Network and Wii Ware will also gain access to it. This game is Earthworm Jim, a fantastic platformer originally by the good people at Shiny (who brought us such classics as the MDK series and Sacrifice) and now remade in high definition by Gameloft. Just looking at the trailer got me nostalgic, and when I found out they were adding new stages and a co op mode I got flat out excited.

Earthworm Jim is the story of a simple earthworm who had a robotic suit fall from space directly onto him one fateful day and turned him into a hero. His mission is quite simple – to save Princess What’s Her Name from her twin sister The Evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt, who quite possibly has both the longest and most ridiculous name for any nemesis in any game. Packing a ridiculously fast firing plasma blaster, Jim must venture forth to defeat a rogue gallery of villains ranging from a goldfish, a bungee jumping piece of snot, a scientist with a monkey for a head and more through a variety of worlds, each wildly different than the last which leads me to another reason I loved the original – its originality. Every stage is a journey through an irreverent cartoony world that has its own flavor and flair that make it stand out and be memorable. From what I’ve seen in the trailers, they’ve really managed to touch up the levels to make them look so much more smooth and crisp.

It’s also worth mentioning that Earthworm Jim comes from a time when games were ball bustingly hard and rather unapologetic about it. You need to make tricky jumps while swinging Jim’s worm body as a lasso, fend off enemies charging in from every angle, and navigate that god damned water craft in that one stupid part of a level over and over again (a low point in an otherwise fantastic game). You will die repeatedly and you will have a good time (unless you’re in the fucking water craft Jesus Christ how was that part supposed to be fun). When you make it through the stages you actually feel accomplished. It wasn’t the absolute hardest game of its generation, but provided quite a challenge that felt frustrating, yet doable so you always wanted to give it one more go unless you were in water.

Writing this made me remember one little thing about this game. In elementary school a bunch of my friends would lend games to each other, and we all took stabs at Earthworm Jim. I’m the only one who enjoyed the game because I was the only one with enough spare time to finally beat the watercraft level, and I’m glad I did. Eventually they did discover cheat codes and did actually get to have some fun. It really sucks to know that there are a lot of people who have played this awesome game who never got to experience the majority of it because of one poorly designed part of a level early on in the game. The rest of the stage was actually quite fun.

I’m really hoping this remake turns out well and am seriously keeping my fingers crossed. If you missed the original and this remake actually turns out solid, I highly recommend you give it a spin. It’s an old school game that I feel has enough charm and fun gameplay to stand the test of time.

Here, enjoy the trailer.

Now enjoy what appears to be a new enemy in the game as seen in the trailer.